The idea
behind this page is very simple,.. it's a list of the many "pet
hate's" that I have, and since I am constantly discovering new
one's, I thought it might get interesting to see them in a list.
-
One
of the first things that comes to mind is people who have one of their
headlights that is blown, and therefore have to drive at night with
just one. The part that fucking irritates me is that people seem to
think that this gives them the right to put the one remaining headlight
on BRIGHT! No!, two normal headlights do *NOT* equal one bright one!
-
How
about when you're at the checkout in a store, and the idiot in front
of you has just paid for his stuff, handed the cashier his money
and his stuff is packed and ready to go. Yet, he (or she) insists
on standing there packing away little pieces of paper and CRAP into
his wallet/purse etc., while you have to stand behind him waiting
for him to fuck off out of the way so that you can have your turn.
All this time the cashier sits there staring at the both of you
waiting to do his (or her) job. Here's how it should work: As SOON
as your change is placed in your hand, you have no more right to
stand around like a fuckwit! Move out of the damn way and let other
people get their turn! Pack your shit into little packets, bags,
sleeves, wallets, moon bags or whatever the fuck else when you have
gotten outta the fucking way!
-
While
we're on the subject of checkouts, how about people that feel it's
necessary to use the express till to pay for their 5 or 6 items, but
then they want to pay with a fucking cheque or credit card! (Yes,
I know most places say "cash only" at the express till,
but this is seldom enforced.) Here's the facts: Nobody gives a *FUCK*
that you have a credit card or cheque book, and we know it makes you
feel cool to have everyone see you using your cheque book or credit
card, but all it really proves it what a fucking idiot you are for
wanting write a cheque for R20 worth of goods! Use cash or FUCK OFF
please!
- Why is it that when
people say the age of their babies, they feel obliged to say it in months!?
Up to 1 year is obvious, but why "one year and five months",
or "eighteen months"? Who the fuck cares about how many months
anyway. Where is it written that when you reach a certain age you can
drop the months and round off to the nearest year..?
- I was just reminded
of this one: How about when you subscribe to a mailing list relating
to a topic you have a very specific interest in and people on that list
continue to spam the list with there fucking off-topic trivia! Is it
too much to ask that when people run out of stuff to say they can't
just SHUT UP as opposed to posting messages for the mere sake of it,
discussing things that have NO connection to the topic whatsoever. A
simple issue as staying ON TOPIC shouldn't be that hard to comprehend...
- Here's one: When you're
watching the news for example, and they'll say something like: "The
search for the missing persons will continue.." ...... what the
*FUCK* is a "persons"..? ! "Missing Persons" what
is that supposed to mean? Is it too much effort to say "Missing
people"?
This may or may not be grammatically correct, but it's still irritating!
What's next: one sheep many sheeps... etc. !!!???
- While we're on the subject
of plural misuse, I heard another one similar to this by a local radio
DJ names Martin Baily (currently ranking 4th on the absolute total fuckwit
list above) who is a total fucking imbecile. He said: " ... pay
the money's into the account." Now, what,.... the fuck,.... is
money's!???! As far as I am aware, there is NO instance that you can
append an "s" to money, not to mention it sounds fucking stupid!
- The phrase: "I
shot him dead"! Well, could you have shot him alive? Sure he may
not be dead from the shot, however, why not say: "I wounded him"
in that instance...?
- "The HIV Virus"...
What the fuck!? What does HIV stand for? (H)uman (I)mmunodeficiency
(V)irus... so therefore you are saying: "The Human Immunodeficiency
Virus Virus." That makes no fucking sense.
How about "I put the CD disk into the drive".... if CD stands
for (C)ompact (D)isk, then in effect you are saying: "I put the
Compact Disk disk into the drive"... Now that's just fucking stupid!
- Why chemists are always
called <something>KEM! Like if you live near the ocean, your pharmacy
will be called "OceanKem" or "BayKem",.. or "IAMAFUCKINGIDIOTKEM"...
Kem is supposed to
be short for "Chemist", so where is the "K" from?
Logically it should be <something>CHEM then shouldn't it? So it's
actually a total failure as it doesn't even MAKE SENCE!
- People who ask you how
you are, when they really couldn't give a rat's ass about how you REALLY
are. "Hi, how are you?", "Well, now that you ask, I have
a pain in my left toe from kicking the cat last night. Oh, and I get
this strange ache in my back when... etc." If you don't really
want to know, then don't fucking ask!
- People who feel the
need to attach a list of their "qualifications" to the bottom
of their emails. i.e."John Smith - MCSE, BA, A+" Or even WORSE,
people who want to do this, yet have no qualifications worth mentioning,
so they "invent" verbal equivalents, i.e."John Smith
- PC Expert, Computer Security Expert etc."
In the first place, who gives a fuck, and in the second, why do you
feel the need to try to impress everyone with your (meaningless) qualifications?
You only "immortalize your own ignorance.." (-Walkyier)
- When software have a
"progress bar" type of thing while performing a task, then
when they get to 100%, they just sit there on 100% (even though each
10% increment along the way only took 5 secs). You then sit there looking
at the FULL bar at 100% for a repeat duration of the time it took to
get to 100% in the first place!!! 100% means FINISHED! The bar should
disappear and let you move on! If it's not finished with whatever it's
doing, then it should display something OTHER than 100%, indicating
that it is still "on it's way to completion"... (For fucks
sake!)
- People (usually this
applies to women) who when they smile, reveal an equal length of gums
as visible teeth. You should not be able to see VAST amounts of pink
gums glaring at you when someone smiles,.. this is just plain disgusting.
If you can't smile without this horror show, then don't smile, or
at least not at me!
- (This had to come up
eventually).. Smokers: People can have whatever filthy habits they
want, as long as it doesn't have to effect other people. If I have
to smell your stinking smoke, rotten breath, and general unpleasant
stench, then that's a problem. Smoking is a weakness! You smoke because
you are weak! You can't stop smoking because you are weak! I can't
tolerate weakness in people, it makes me sick. Have your weakness,
but don't let it effect me.
- People who pronounce
"envelope" with an "O", i.e."ONvelope"!!!!
People who pronounce the word "Medicine" without the "i",
ie "Med-sin" and of course people who say: "Pleece"
instead of "Police"! If you can't speak your own language
properly, then you should shut your fucking mouth. You merely advertise
to the world that you are a fucking idiot without the simplest grasp
of the most fundamental skill: communication!
- People who think that
Jihad means "Holy War". Before you insult other religions
with your ignorance, why not take a few minutes to find out what you
are talking about first! (if you are REALLY interested in what Jihad
means, ask a true Muslim, search the net, or click here.)
- People who automatically
assume you are interested in sports and sports results. Sharing the
latest rugby or cricket score with me, only irritates me as I have
no desire to associate myself with any group of mindless idiots trying
to prove their dominance over another group of mindless idiots all
in the name of "sport". There is no denying that most sports
require HUGE amounts of skill, but being skilled doesn't make you
exempt from being a boring stereotype. Take ballet for example...
(granted this isn't a sport), a male who does ballet needs to be incredibly
fit/strong yes, agreed! But does this mean that he's exempt from being
a raging ass-bandit? I have to question ANY male's morals if he has
the desire to partake in something like this... Same goes for women
bodybuilders etc.
- Women/female "rock
stars". Yes, there are many VERY talented female musicians out
there, but trust me, a woman brandishing a guitar, complete with snarl
and torn jeans just looks fucking stupid! Most males seem to think this
is "sexy", but I think if a male finds a female who is trying
to look/behave like a man attractive, it may be a subconscious (or very
conscious) sign of latent homosexuality...
The worst of *ALL* are female drummers, (particularly if they play rock/aggressive
music), they just look like fucking total idiots. Just face it, it just
doesn't work! (I agree there are many AMAZING female drummers, but again,
your skill doesn't exempt you from looking like a absolute dildo behind
an instrument!)
- I was just reminded
of this one: Have you seen, walking through bookstores, you see some
Bibles have printed on them "The Holy Bible" WTF is a HOLY
Bible??? Surely ALL Bibles, in fact all books from God in all cultures
for all faiths are considered holy, so what if I go to the salesperson
and say I want to
know how much they will charge me for an unholy Bible? So STOP calling
it a HOLY Bible. For fucks
sakes it's a Bible full stop.
- And another one: Have
you noticed on some forms that you fill in they have printed: Prove
of positive ID will be required. "Uhm, sorry sir but I only have
a negative ID. Will that be OK?" Can't they just say prove of
YOUR ID will be required. Surely they don't think you're gonna rock
up there to collect what ever and show them your next door neighbors
ID!! WTF!
- "New and Improved"
- WTF does that mean!? If it's new, that means it was just created,
but in order for it to have been improved upon, it would have to have
existed already and therefore not new! So what is it? Is it New *OR*
is it Improved!!!!?
- "You will get something
for free" - for fucks sake, it's either "FOR Nothing"
or it's "Free", please make up your fucking mind. It's not
goddamn"FOR FREE" !!!
- Now this may seem irrational
(do I care?!), but people who do fucking stretching exercises on the
beach. ie placing their foot on a bench or something and so these
stupid stretching exercises, all the while looking around at normal
people walking past as if they're not doing anything unusual and cannot
understand why they're being looked/stared/laughed at. If you feel
COMPELLED to do exercise in public, please do your warm-up shit somewhere
else where I don't have to see you behaving like a pratt.
- When someone tells you
a story of where they found something while walking in a forest-like
place it is something like: ".....and while I was walking I saw
this object laying behind the tree and..." stop right there!! How
do you KNOW it was BEHIND the tree?? Just because the object was lying
at the side opposite to where you were walking/whatever doesn't mean
you are looking at the front-end of the tree and now you are walking
to the balk end of the tree!! example: If I draw you a circle on a piece
of paper, how do you know which side is front and which side is back?
The object was on the opposite side of the tree from where I was standing!
- Now this really fucks
me off: Why THE FUCK do they advertise channels/radio stations *ON*
that channel/station!?? Obviously you're already watching or listening
to it in order to see the fucking ad!! A prime example for this is satellite
tv (dstv), take Discovery Channel for example, while you are watching,
they interrupt the show every 15mins to show you an ad for <wait
for it..> Discovery Channel! Fuckit people, I am *ALREADY WATCHING*
so why are you spamming me with this shit to get me to watch!!!!
- Why the fuck do people
point to their wrist when they ask you for the time? Don't you think
I know where my watch is? I wear my watch on my RIGHT arm anyway, thus
making your pointing gesture even more useless as I won't find a watch
there ANYWAY! Do you point to your crotch when you ask someone where
the toilet is? WTF?
- Why will people will
get up and spend ages searching a room for the remote control, but will
not get up off their ass to just change the channel or whatever else
they need a remote control for.
- People who say stupid
shit like: "You want to have your cake and eat it" Now what
the fuck does that mean? Is there any point to having cake at all if
the ultimate goal is not to eat it eventually!? Or "that's always
the last place you look" - well obviously it is!! if it was the
first place you looked, why would I keep on looking?!!!
- How about people who
say: "Can I ask you a question?" Now what the FUCK is that?
"Jeez, I am so happy you checked with me first, you know how I
hate FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!!!!"
- If you're watching a
movie and someone says: "did you see that?" erm, no actually
I managed to somehow miss it, even though I paid to sit here and watch
it on this huge motherfucking screen!
- How about the saying:
"life is too short"... too short for what? Life is the longest
fucking thing you can ever do! What can you do that's longer? !!!! Or
fuckers that come to you at a bus stop and ask you "has the bus
come yet?" erm, yes it came, and I just stood here admiring the
pretty wheels, then let it go on it's merry way.. fuckwit!!
- People who are too fucking
lazy to speak! Yes, I kid you not. People will say "plett"
instead of "Plettenberg Bay" or "bloem" instead
of Bloemfontein (these are South African towns for all confused foreigners
reading this). Is it really too much trouble to say the full name? Is
it going to inconvenience you beyond a tolerable level to just go ahead
and mouth those couple of extra syllables.
- I was just reminded:
Cinemas! Now this REALLY irritates me! firstly there's the queue's,
then the ridiculous price, then finally you get to your seat hoping
to enjoy the movie in peace, but no, there has to be some fucking
idiot behind you and next to you eating his popcorn FROM THE BOTTOM
of the box to the top, slurping a drink. Then to top it off people
feel they need to take of their shoes, allowing their rotting foot
odor to waft around you, then the pricks behind you HAVE to put their
feet against your chair, rocking you back and forth every few min's
as they shuffle around to get more comfortable. Then the cherry on
top is you have to endure fucking ADS!! at a movie you are PAYING
(way too much) to see. Add to this the chattering, whispering "did
you see that?" <see above> and of course the ceremonial
cell phone ringing followed by a hearty roar of laughter from all
the dutchmen in the audience and of course all the people that will
laugh at ABSOLUTELY nothing at all. What a great way to spend a few
hours!
- Now this is a classic:
People who come to this page, read it, and then COMPLAIN that they
were offended by the content! (I kid you not) If you don't like this
shit I am saying, then WHY ARE YOU READING IT!!!? This is like a vegetarian
going to a steakhouse, ordering 2 T-bones, eating both, then complaining
to the manager that the meat tasted horrible. I mean WHAT THE FUCK!?
Then to top it all off, they prove beyond all shadow of a doubt how
truly clueless they are by proudly admitting that they really believe
that Jihad means "Holy War"... <again, see above>
then try to convince me I am wrong because I know better.. ha ha!
The height of ignorance has got to be being ignorant, and ADVERTISING
IT!
- I heard on the radio
today (seems I heat a lot of fucking irritating shit on the radio??
Hmmm), anyway, I heard a story about some fool who killed his wife
and kids with an axe. They put it like this: "The accused axed
his wife and children to death."
Now, WTF is "AXED". Axe is an object, or a noun, how can
a noun be used as an adjective? If someone gets hit by a car, do we
say "He was carred to death"..?!! Or if he was killed by
a being beaten with a baseball bat, we say "He was baseball batted
to death.." (Hopefully he was a fag, but anyway.)
The point it is a stupid fucking thing to say...
- When people (specifically
news readers) say things like: "Today, the president of the United
States, Mr George Bush said... blah blah" Is there anyone who
DOESN'T KNOW who the fucking president of the USA is? And if you are
such a person, then this news will be of no interest to you ANYWAY,
so can we not have EITHER the title OR the name. If neither means
anything to you, then what have you missed out on anyway!? OHHHHhhh,
you mean THAT president of the USA... I was confusing you with the
OTHER president of the USA.
- I heard on the radio
today (seems I heat a lot of fucking irritating shit on the radio??
Hmmm), anyway, I heard a story about some fool who killed his wife
and kids with an axe. They put it like this: "The accused axed
his wife and children to death."
Now, WTF is "AXED". Axe is an object, or a noun, how can
a noun be used as an adjective? If someone gets hit by a car, do we
say "He was carred to death"..?!! Or if he was killed by
a being beaten with a baseball bat, we say "He was baseball batted
to death.." (Hopefully he was a fag, but anyway..)
The point it is a stupid fucking thing to say...
- Thanks to a good friend,
I was reminded of this one: When you are surfing the net, happily
away, and listening to your favorite mp3's in the background. Then
suddenly you get *BLASTED* by some stupid fucks website-music! Jesus!
These people should be BANNED from the internet. Whoever allowed web
pages to play music should be shot (or worse, made to watch big brother!).
To make matters WORSE, midi-music just fucking sux, no getting around
it. And 99% of these sites don't even have an option on the page to
let you TURN OFF THE FUCKING MUSIC!
Then there are the fuckers that go TOTALLY OVERKILL on the animated
images! This just adds to the all-round unpleasant experience of being
blasted with the suicide-music! If you want to see an example of a
site like this, then take a look at this link that my friend supplied.
(Subject to go down at any time.)
http://users.mo-net.com/shirl/Design.html#top
If you have hacker skills, do the world a favor and kill this website...
The internet will be a better place.
(More room for opinionated people like myself in other words...)
- People who use programs without spell
checkers! Just what does "SENCE" mean anyway? It's spelled
sense.
- Since we're on the subject of stupid
things, how about people who share an email address?! I mean what
the FUCK!? Ever receive a message from uncle Jack, but in your inbox,
the sender appears as: "From: The Jackson's Family"..!?
So, did the whole family sit around the computer and take turns typing
alternate words to compose the message? No, I don't think so! The
message was sent by ONE person, not a fucking little clan.
From: Frank, Stacy and Molly.. oh, and the Dogs Bob and George, and
the Goldfish called Simon...
- Now this is a classic: When people
say something like: "I did that when I was one years old."
- I mean what _THE FUCK_..? "one years" ???!!! Or how about:
"It only cost one cents." No people, are you familiar with
the concept of singular/plural? It's one CENT and one YEAR. Say it
with me now, "S-I-N-G-U-L-A-R!"
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